It was 11.30 Pm and Venkat sat staring at his swanky mobile phone. There was no call, nor message from her. He didn’t know whom to call and ask for her. He tried calling her for over an hour, but her mobile number wasn’t reachable. While one part of him said, “She’s going to be okay, just probably driving back”, the other part of him said, “Never has she been so late! At least not without informing me of her delay”

The clock struck 12.00. For many, this was the birth of a new beginning, a new day, a new reason to celebrate or a new way of life. But, for Venkat, this day, this hour, this minute was something he’d never wished to go through. His Meenakshi was not home as yet. While one would expect Venkat to be angry with Meenakshi, Venkat was angry with no one but himself.

Venkat scrolled all the numbers on his contact list, only to realize that he did not have a single number of the multiple friends Meenakshi had. He was ashamed of how little he knew about her. He was scolding himself for how distant and self-obsessed he had become.  He tried to recollect how Meenakshi looked that morning, but all he remembered was waving her a goodbye while talking on the phone, without even glancing at her. It wasn’t an urgent call. Certainly not important! And yet he did not look at her and say goodbye!

With the cuckoo in the clock announcing that it was 12.30 Am, Venkat walked into Meenakshi’s room to look for her phone diary. How he wished he’d asked for her friends’ numbers! He suddenly remembered this one conversation with Meenu. She asked him, “What would you do if I suddenly go missing someday? Do you even know whom to call and ask for me?” And he jokingly replied “Why would I want call and ask for you! Shouldn’t I be celebrating the good riddance?” He now wished he’d gone back to that very moment and told her how he’d cease to exist the moment she went missing!

After looking through her Almirah, with no more than a few bills in hand, he stared at the wall that was adorned with pictures of Meenakshi, filled with smiles and joy! He couldn’t recollect the last time he made her happy or smile this much! He took his mobile and tried calling her again. All he could hear was the automated voice saying “The number you are calling is not reachable. Please try again later”. He quickly logged into whatsapp, to check her last login time.

                                                                                                    Meenakshi

                                                                                 Last seen yesterday at 05.00 Pm...

When he was about to navigate to this home page, he saw her whatsapp status. It said something on being low. “Meenakshi? Being low?  Why?” he wondered aloud. They lived under the same roof and he had no idea of Meenakshi being low!

Out of sheer desperation to reach Meenakshi, he dialled Gopalakrishnan’s number. Gopal picked the call after five rings. Venkat explained to Gopal on Meenu not being back home and Gopal immediately suggested Venkat to check Meenu’s  friends list on facebook and leave her friends a message asking her whereabouts and also register a complaint with the local police station.

While Gopal’s former idea didn’t seem too appropriate to Venkat, he still wanted to give it a try. He logged on to facebook and checked Meenu’s profile. Meenu’s posts over the last few weeks had one thing in common – her feelings! Thanks to facebook’s new features, Venkat saw that Meenu had been feeling weak, depressed, blah and lonely. Unable to come to terms with the fact that he’d known his Meenu so little, and feeling guilty for not being there for her, Venkat quickly moved to check her friend’s list. He found it extremely embarrassing to leave them a message. “What would they think of me?” he asked himself! But he was left with little to no choice. So he left a message with her friends asking them to call him if they knew where Meenu was. He then shut his laptop – the one thing he’d touched, held, cared and spent time with, in months!

The loud ringtone of his mobile interrupted his thoughts. It was an unknown number. Never before had he feared picking a call up except for when it was from his creditors asking him to return their money. Something told him it wasn’t good news! He picked the call.

“Hello! This is Ram from City Hospitals.”

On hearing the location, Venkat’s heart sank

“Hello?”

Venkat tried to speak, but he couldn’t hear his own voice. Finally, gathering all the courage within, he said “Hi! This is Venkat”

The voice on the other said “There is a patient named Meenakshi admitted in our ICU. She met with an accident. We found your number listed as the emergency contact on her phone book.   Do you know her?”

“Yes” Venkat’s voice trembled. “Is she ok? What kind of accident was it? Please give me details.” Venkat begged.

“Sir. Is it possible to come to our hospital immediately? We can discuss the case in person.”

“Yes yes! I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. But please tell me if my Meenu is ok.”

“Well sir. She isn’t, but maybe your coming here quickly would make her ok”

“I’ll be there before you know! And Ram...”

“Yes Sir”

“Thanks for calling!” Venkat said.

Venkat hung up! It was too much information for his brain to process! Meenu-ICU-Accident! Meenu-ICU-Accident! His Meenu – Accident! And here he was, thinking she was with a friend!

Venkat quickly rushed to her room, picked up a few of Meenu’s clothes, called Gopal, informed him about Ram’s call and drove to the hospital. The fifteen minute drive to the hospital was no less than an ordeal to Venkat. He was filled with questions... What kind of accident must it have been? Was she wearing a helmet? Did her bike, as usual give itself up?

Venkat finally parked the car - a gift from Meenu, into the parking lot of City Hospitals. It was 02.00 Am, and this place was abuzz with activity. Grappling with fear, he rushed to the reception. “Hi! I am looking for Meenakshi. I got a call saying she was admitted in the ICU.”

“Hi Sir. The ICU is on the second floor. The nurse’s desk on the second floor should help you find the person you are looking for”

Venkat quickly climbed up the flight of stairs and walked into the second floor. He walked up to the nurse’s desk and asked for Meenakshi. The nurse led him to the doctor’s room. A sign board that read “Dr.Ram” welcomed him. Dr.Ram asked Venkat a couple of basic questions, including how he was related to Meenu, her medical records etc. He then explained to Venkat that Meenakshi had met with an accident. A couple of passersby saw her condition and admitted her in the hospital. They had informed the hospital authorities that a speeding car had hit Meenakshi. Meenu fell unconscious and bled profusely. Ram also explained in layman’s language that she had fractured ribs and collar bone and that a few stones had pierced through the skin in her face. A process of grafting the skin had to be done, to set that right. Without thinking for a moment, Venkat asked Ram to proceed with what should be done to make sure Meenu was fine. He asked Ram “It’s not going to hurt her too much right?” With a subtle smile, Ram replied. “Mr.Venkat, she wouldn’t even know she’s being operated upon.”

Venkat signed the required papers and waited outside the operation theatre where the surgery was being performed.  He did not want to inform any of their relatives now. He wanted to go through this pain and agony all by himself. This wait outside the OT was going to be the longest hours of his life. He had peeped through the glass door leading to the ICU earlier, only to see his Meenu lying lifeless, bandages and casts all over. This was never how he imagined he would see Meenu ever.

His Meenu – the only person in his world who loved him with all she had and she could. He fell in love with her the first time she saw her. Well... You could call that love at first sight. She was looking so pale, fragile, innocent, beautiful and angelic. Over the years, he had become Meenu’s life. He remembered the times Meenu cried when he left on a trip. She was never able to stay away from him. She used to hug him, cry and beg asking him not to go. She used to get wild if his mom, sister or her mom said a word against him. She always knew he wasn’t the perfect man ever, but she accepted him with all her heart for what he was and what he was not. He wasn’t just her first love, he was her friend, philosopher, her guide, the light at the end of the dark tunnel. The man she loved crazily.

She fought with him, fought for him, kissed him, respected him, hated but also loved him. She would always wait by the 

door when she heard his bike screeching its way into their apartment. Just one look at her was enough to make all his worries vanish, and just one look at him was enough for her to gauge the mood he was in. She loved to make him happy. She loved to hear him sing. She loved to just sit beside him and talk for hours.

Venkat’s thoughts were interrupted by the nurses running out of the OT. He was worried. He’d lost his parents, so he knew what it meant to lose a loved one. But he wasn’t ready to let go of Meenu yet, actually ever! She had to live.

Meenu had never really been demanding. Well, at least not when it came to anything materialistic. But she always demanded love, care, affection and attention. She always wanted to be loved, which was fair enough considering she loved everyone unconditionally and treated everyone in her life special. She would cherish every small gift anyone gave her. Venkat remembered seeing a white shirt in her almirah. She used to beam whenever she wore it, saying “This was the first and probably the only surprise gift you gave me. So even though I’ve grown in size, I’d probably never throw it away.”

It was 06.00 Am when Dr.Ram finally walked out of the OT. He told Venkat that the surgery had been successful, but Meenu was still not very stable. Venkat asked Dr.Ram if he could see Meenu, and Ram asked the nurse to accompany Venkat till the glass door from where he could see Meenu. Venkat walked up to the glass door and saw his Meenu. A side of her face was covered. He never really told Meenu how pretty she looked. And now she probably wouldn’t believe him if he said so. He never told Meenu how much she meant to him. She’d asked him several times, but he was all shy at telling her something nice.

The last couple of months hadn’t been so great. The ever chirpy Meenu barely spoke to him, for he never had the time for her. She fought with him saying she missed him and she didn’t remember the last time they ever had a conversation, and he shunned her that she was never happy with what he did. The truth was – he was busy. He had other priorities, but didn’t want to admit it. Now, he really wished he’d spoken to her, known her and asked her how she was. He wished he kept his laptop aside and focussed just on her. What if Meenu wasn’t going to get better? “I still have so much more to tell her” He cried aloud.

Venkat wanted her to be ok, at least to give her the diamond ring she’d been asking him for months, at least to take her to her favourite restaurant and talk about all she wanted to, at least to take her on a vacation she’d been longing for. Venkat now realized how much he’d neglected Meenu all this while.

She’d once told him “I know I am not a priority anymore but just an option in your life. But your friends might never really love you the way I do. So please don’t ignore me.” He knew she was right, but he always moved on with his friends and his work. He no longer knew what she did, whom she spoke to or where she went. He was no longer the Venkat, Meenu loved from her heart. He was no longer the Venkat, Meenu depended on. He hated himself for having done this to Meenu. The pain she was going through right now was probably far lesser than the pain he’d caused her. She had told him she no longer really spoke to her friends or trusted anyone and yet he’d failed her.

She’d fought with him for his time, but now Venkat fought with time for her...

He wanted a break; he just wanted to clear his head off. He walked to the nurse’s desk and asked her if it was ok for him to go home, freshen up and return. He’d been in the hospital for over 15 hours now. The nurse promised to call him if there was any sign of improvement.

Two hours later, his phone rang. He recognized the number. It was the nurse. She’d called as promised. She told him that 

Meenu had regained consciousness. Happy tears brimming, Venkat quickly drove to the hospital, making just one stop on the way.

The nurse in the ICU asked him to wear a special uniform and follow her into the ICU. Venkat’s heart beat faster with every step he took. As he opened the glass door of the ICU, he finally saw Meenu. No doors or invisible shields between them. He walked up to her and kissed her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes.

Tears flowing, Venkat flashed the diamond ring he bought her. “Meenu kutty I love you. You mean the world to me. I am sorry I never told you how beautiful you are. I am sorry for never having been there for you when you needed me. I am sorry I never told you how much I love you. I am sorry I didn’t take an effort to make things better. I am sorry I didn’t spend enough time with you. I love you da. Please don’t leave me and go. Give me a change to be the man you wanted me to be. You are the best gift god could’ve ever given me. I am so proud of you and I am sorry I never told you that.”

Meenu slowly reached for his hand “I didn’t know a few broken ribs could get me a diamond ring” she smiled. “You will always be the man I love. You are the only person who knows me, so it hurt me really bad when you started becoming so busy and moved away. You will always be the hero I worship. Just promise me you will never ignore me. Promise me you will talk to me like we used to. I miss those days, for those were some of the best days of my life. I miss you.” She said.

“I promise you Meenu. The last couple of hours have been enough punishment. I am never going to let you miss me.”

Meenu smiled and said “I hate you at times, but I love you more. I love you more than I could love anybody else. Appa... no matter what you do or don’t do, you will always be the best dad in this world.” “Oh and if you have a        re-birth, I would want you to be born as my son, so that I could spank you and punish you for all that you’ve done to me” She laughed.